10:23 a.m. - 2006-06-08
FWB 'guidelines'
FWB is an abbreviation used for Friends with Benefits who are people who often have sexual encounters with each other without actually starting a relationship.
I am not a lover of rules, but at times they are necessary to prevent misunderstandings and lawsuits. Below are a few “guidelines” I have discovered after years of experience.
1. Never, EVER, take them home to mother, father, sister, daughter, uncle, or any other people you consider family. To do so moves the FWB to relationship status and this will only screw up a good thing.
2. Never, EVER, introduce them to, or hang out with, your friends for the same reason as number one; plus your friends might know about your other FWB and you don’t want one FWB to know about any others. This will only screw up a good thing.
3. Never buy presents for your FWB. A birthday card is appropriate, or Christmas card, only if you keep it unrelationhipy. Never, ever, put mushy lovey writing in the cards. Just sign your name. NOTHING else!
4. Never tell FWB that you are seeing other FWB. You may see as many FWB as you like if you have the time and the stamina, but I recommend no more than 3-5 at a time.
5. You should have a schedule so you know which FWB is when and where. Call all FWB by one pet name (ex. Sugar or baby) to avoid getting them mixed later.
6. It is HIGHLY recommended that you go to their house and do not let your FWB know where you live. If you have to then make sure they understand that they must not come over unless invited.
7. Always, and I mean ALWAYS, use condoms and birth control. Buy your own condoms to insure that there is always a supply. Make sure the ‘no glove, no love’ rule is in effect.
8. Never, ever, give money or lend money to FWB. Payments for movies, dinners, and so forth are at your own discretion.
9. Never, ever, take on their emotional or personal problems. Be a good listener, but don’t EVER try to fix ‘IT’. Mind your own business and don’t give out advice unless asked for it and then keep it to a minimum.
This is for entertainment purposes only. The author of these guidelines will not and cannot be held responsible, nor will she take responsibility for, any thing that is deemed hazardous to your marriage, relationships, friendships, or health. Condom usage is recommended at ALL times!
