12:19 p.m. - 2006-01-24
I quitted it already yet there....
And so I quit! I dropped out of college. Much like I did high school way back when, but this time I called and left messages with teachers and got answers. I still haven’t decided whether I am happy about it or not. Not yet anyway! I waffled back and forth all morning about it until I finally decided I needed to do something either way or go silently insane. Okay, who am I kidding? Silently? Yeah, right. Go screaming at the top of my lungs insane more than likely.
But it’s done. I quitted. I gave up. Call it what you will, but I quit. Failed again. Much like I did my son, but that is another blog entry for another day.
Who was I kidding anyway? I don’t want a bachelor’s degree in business administration. I don’t want a degree in anything. I don’t want to go to school any longer. Not now. Not at this stage of my life. I am 49 years olds for crying out loud. That is half a century! I want to have fun and do things before my number is called. Sitting in a classroom learning stuff I could care less about is not fun as far as I am concerned.
You know what I want to do when I grow up? I want to write novels. That’s it. Not necessarily the great American novel, but my novels about my worlds and my people. I want to walk into Borders and see my book on their shelves. I want to go across the nation for book signings. I want to go to writer’s retreats and talk to editors and agents and other writers who have the same yearnings I do. That’s what I want to do!
I also want to travel and see things I haven’t seen yet. Go places I haven’t been to yet. Meet people I don’t know yet. Fuck people I haven’t, um, you know, yet. That’s what I want to do.
I was only going to school because my job suggested it and they were going to pay for most of it. I was hoping to get a promotion because of it. But people were getting promoted with out one and over me so why bother, especially when I wasn’t enjoying it, was going nuts trying to keep up, and hated going to begin with? Maybe if I was going for something I enjoyed I might have stayed, but I wasn’t taking anything I wanted. Since the job was paying for it I was very limited on what I could take. Oh well! Cela est la vie!
Now I have time to do what I want. Like take a creative writing course that is only on Wednesday nights. The same night my classes were. Yeah! Or get laid more often. Scheduling conflicts were causing me issues in the getting laid department. And my nap times, I can get more naps in now. No longer do I have to go all the way across town to go to a class I don’t want to take.
Free at last! Free at last! Thank the Goddess, I am free at last!
